Woke up and went to the bus station! It was Ben and Abby and matt and andy and mattie and I today. We bought our tickets, which were 14.50 euro, which wasn’t bad at all! We got to ballycotton, and there was really nobody there in the whole town! One old man was walking his dog, and he said good morning to us. Cool. We looked for a coffee shop, and then walked up to a church and down to a beach. The church was called Star of the Sea, and it was cool. There were lots of really cool fishing boats that we walked by, too. Andy and I found this shark thing, and it was about 4 feet long and dying. Matt picked it up, and threw it back into the sea. We called it “The Question Mark Shark” and Mark the shark and it was funny. I think the shark made it ok. Then we went to this café for lunch. We had salmon sandwiches, and dang they were good. The old man that we saw jogging was actually in the pub too! It was our group, and him, and the bartender. This was at noon-ish. This old man is the Ballycotton version of Tom Barry, cause he was there all day. We talked to them for a bit. Then, we walked out towards this island that was off the point at the edge of town. The tide had reached its lowest point, so we were able to walk across the extremely slippery reef network and make it to the grassy island on the other side. We almost fell multiple times trying to make it to this island. It was really slow going, because every step needed to be planned out, so you didn’t slip on the wet, slippery, seaweed covered rocks. But then we made it to the island! It was really cool. The grass was extremely soft and bouncy, and I was running along, took a digger, rolled over three times, and was perfectly fine! Matt is extremely adventurous when it comes to climbing. He climbed all over the rocks, and out to the farthest point. Andy was right behind him, and I was a little hesitant sometimes. Gotta take all those pictures, you know. We spend a good amount of time out on that island. It was really fun. We found some adult diapers on the island, and i threw one at Matt. Then, we walked back. The entire day we were singing the Rattlin’ bog song, except ad-libbing the verses. There was one about Ruby, the dog who followed us around all morning crapping all over the city, and one about us killing Andy and pawning his camera. Haha. But really, Ruby was this cute dog who was black, and as Andy put it, “had brown dreadlocks all over her ass”. She followed us around all morning, like i just said. The whole morning was quiet, and we were the only people out, but in the afternoon more people came out. Then, we decided to do the cliff walk at about one. It involved us climbing cliffs and then going into caves. It was pretty fun. Matt led the way. Then, we walked through TSA checkpoints, and scaled some cliffs. We popped up on this one cliff by this memorial, and the tourists were all surprised! Abby and Ben stayed back to dry Abby’s feet while we went up and down the cliffs and into the caves below. We walked along the route, and then headed back towards town at about 330. We got into town, hung out at the pub, and watched a rugby game. Then, we waited for the bus at 4:50. There were two stops, and only one road into town. The bus came about 448, and drove right past us. 5 min later, we were making backup plans and stuff in case it didn’t come back. Abby was really cold and started to freak out a bit. Finally, at about 502, the bus came back! Yay! When we got back to Cork, the driver said, “So what made you guys come out all the way to Ballycotton?” Obviously, they don’t really get much for college kids there. I said we wanted to go to a small town on the coast and explore and find out about deep sea fishing. He told us that he hates driving to ballycotton cause the roads are so bad. Haha. Made more Feast when we got back! I love Feast. Then we all watched Wanted, and i drank some Jameson and went to sleep.
Woke up very tired on Sunday. Matt, Andy, MB, and I made the trek to Gaol’s cross and got there just in time. They had a way nicer bus this time. We were going to be hiking The Paps today, which are two breast shaped mountains. heh. The Brian guy made us do a jeans check, and then said “Now raise your hands if you are sitting next to someone wearing jeans. Rat them out!” Got on the bus and talked to this German girl on the way to the mountain, about fishing. Apparently in Ireland you cannot keep the fish you catch, unless you are on these two special lakes. Wtf? Kerstin said that in Germany you can even keep fish. We drove west, and I noticed something. The land was becoming more brown, dark, and hilly. There were castle like ruins all over, and the towns were getting few and far between. You could definitely tell that county Kerry is the “backwards and primitive” part of Ireland. I loved it. . Along the way I saw a guy in camo pants. Haha! Probably an American. We drove down this narrow road, and got to a church parking lot. Brian said, “Now let’s go to mass before the hike. Just kidding, we will be heathens and skip. Better not, you don’t do that in Kerry.” Perhaps Kerry is more religious than say, Dublin or Cork city. We got off the bus, and Andy saw that there was a girl wearing jeans! “That lying bitch!” he loudly proclaimed, to all of our amusement. We split into two groups this time. It was dense and foggy, like in the Gougane Barra picture on my computer. We walked down this country road and hopped a fence to get to the foothills. I noticed something. There are no critters in Ireland. There are birds, but I have yet to see a mammal. Also, there is water everywhere. It makes little streams and flows all over. I think streams in the usa are way rare compared to here. We must not get enough rain. Well we started climbing. It got really foggy. We were up in the clouds once again. I told this one girl riddles, like the hanging on a block of ice one. I was thinking that this trip was gonna be bad for pictures. We would climb a hill, and I would think oh cool a pap! But not yet. Then, I saw blue sky. We kept climbing, and next thing you know the sky is blue and everything is clear! Then, we saw the unmistakeable breast-shaped mountains. You could even see the little nipples that the ancient celts built on top. Brian said “These aren’t man boobs, this is a fine Celtic Goddess rack!”. They built it thousands of years ago to commemorate their fertility goddess. One of the Irish people said that it is a magical place and we could turn into leprechauns. Brian also said something about “The testosterone dripping ogre that is my shirt”. Haha, the Irish are funny. We started towards the first knocker, and I stepped in this tiny random bog and got green seaweed on my boot. It was soaked for the rest of the hike. Dern. We got up to the first nipple! It was about 20 feet tall and cool. We ate lunch. What a view! We could see windmills poking through the clouds, and some were half submerged! The clouds were like a vast ocean beneath us. Apparently we were lucky, because these so called inverse clouds were rare. It was cold at the summit, and the pond was frozen. Also, the area behind the tit was frozen too. Andy waltzed around and said “I’m on the areola!” Lol. MB took a picture of me “suckling”. The rock tasted like old rock. Then, I tried to chase a crow to prove my theory about how crows cannot take off vertically. Then, we walked down into the cleavage. It would have been the most epic sledding hill ever, but it was an interesting walk down. I wanted to roll down. The way up the second jug was very tiring! I got so winded, and the angle of ascent was probably about 40 degrees. MB was powering up it like Usain Bolt. We finally ascended to the top of the second boob. Some kid climbed on the teat, and Brian said “Damn Americans, climbing all over our heritage”. Then came the walk down. I rolled my ankle like 20 times, and we penetrated the cloud bank and got back to the Grey and foggy base of the mountain. Then, we walked for a long time back to the bus. We went to this restaurant and the waitress wouldn’t give the German girl a stout. Then, as we got back, Brian called out Jeans Girl. He said “There was one person who wore jeans today, and her accomplice which didn’t rat her out. Those who wear jeans or runners will be shot on site” It was fun.
